Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the graph illustrated the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United State between 1960 and 2020.

overall health care rose highest grown in whole scenario.

agriculture was on peaked at start. retail fluctuated and manufacturing slightly increased.

in 1960 agriculture on his peaked started from 5 percent then in 1990 agriculture slightly fell drown addicaly on the same ratio at 2020 and then fell dramatically in 2020.

however health care start from zero in 1990 and then rose 5 percent in 1990 and climbed around 10 percent and these ratio slightly increases day by day and around 15 percent in 2020.

in contrast 1960 retail on his peaked started from 5 percent then in 1990 retail slightly increased 2000 then increase dramatically in 2020. and reached at 15 percent

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify some trends, the analysis is superficial and lacks a clear overview of the main features. The data reporting is often inaccurate; for example, you state healthcare started at zero in 1990, which is not supported by the graph. The description of trends is inconsistent, and the lack of sufficient detail means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the overall trends and support your points with accurate data points from the graph while meeting the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. The paragraphing is fragmented, with many sentences standing alone, which disrupts the flow of information. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; transitions like 'however' and 'in contrast' are used, but they do not effectively connect the sentences or paragraphs. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the information is presented in a disjointed manner. To improve, focus on grouping related information into coherent paragraphs and using a wider range of linking words to guide the reader through your analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic verbs like 'rose', 'increased', and 'fell'. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'rose highest grown in whole scenario' and 'fell drown addicaly'. These errors occasionally make the meaning unclear. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency (e.g., 'agriculture on his peaked started'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses for describing past data, and proofreading for common errors such as missing articles and incorrect word forms.

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