Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the number of jobs in four sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector saw downward trend after 1980. Healthcare sector climbed over the years and became the highest number of jobs in 2020, similarly, retail sector also had undergone upward trend by 2020 by crossing manufacturing sector.

In manufacturing sector, figures commenced at 15 millions jobs in 1960 before entering the period of steady decline after 1980. Retail and agriculture were initially at the more than 5 million job in 1960, but retail sector saw significant rise after 1960 and rose to more than 15 million jobs by 2020.

In contrast, agriculture sectors jobs declined from 6 million to less than 3 million jobs in 2020.Least job trend was seen in the health sector in 1960, later it surged from 2 million jobs to more than 15 million job by 2020. By 2020 healthcare and retail sector rose to similar job number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and highlights the key shift in the economy. However, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as stating the healthcare sector had the 'highest number of jobs' in 2020 when the graph shows it reaching a similar level to retail. Additionally, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the comparison between the final figures is more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition 'In contrast' is used effectively, but other links between sentences feel a bit disjointed. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'it', 'these') is used more consistently to connect ideas across sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at topic-specific language like 'downward trend', 'commenced', and 'surged'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'Least job trend' (which is non-standard) and 'by crossing manufacturing sector'. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band. Focusing on more natural collocations and avoiding awkward phrasing will help improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector', 'in health sector') and pluralization (e.g., '15 millions jobs', 'more than 5 million job'). These errors are frequent but do not impede communication. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles when referring to specific sectors or quantities.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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