Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts the information about the figures of jobs in the field of Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

At the fleeting glance, Healthcare sector witnessded the substantial growth , climbing from 2 million to 16 million in the respective years 1960 and 2020. Meanwhile agriculture field surged downwards, started from 6 million and reduced to 3 million through the decades.

Observing further, after 1960, retail sector grew rapidly, reaching about 16 million which started from 5 million in the years from 1960 to 2020. On the other hand, Manufacturing increased in first decade but it follows downward trend in the upcoming decades.

so there are lot of trends noticed in thiese perio

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the task. While you have identified some main features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture, the analysis is incomplete. The conclusion is abrupt and unfinished, and the overall summary lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive overview of all four sectors and include more detailed comparisons between the data points to reach the required length and depth of analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the flow is hindered by the lack of sufficient content. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile' and 'On the other hand', the progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete final sentence. The paragraphing is present but feels mechanical due to the brevity of the text. To improve, focus on linking your sentences more fluidly and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, fully developed topic sentence that connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. You use some appropriate terms like 'surged' and 'downward trend', but there are also errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'At the fleeting glance' (should be 'At a fleeting glance') and 'witnessded' (spelling error). The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for describing trends and ensure you use collocations accurately to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'figures of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'), 'in the respective years 1960 and 2020', and the incomplete final sentence 'so there are lot of trends noticed in thiese perio'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and proofreading for basic spelling and sentence completion errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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