Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart gives us the information of number of Jobs produced in different sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 to 2020. Overall, retail and healthcare showed an upward trend. Manufacturing rose and then fell. Agriculture depicted a downward trend.
In 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs with 15 million. It reached to a peak of 20 million before falling to 13 million in 2020. Retail also grew steadly from 6 million in 2000 to 16 million in 2020.
In 1960 the lowest job created by healthcare sector, after which it gained a upward trend and generated 16 million jobs in 2020. In contrast agriculture was the only sector whose contribution in running economy is 5 million in 1960 and decreased to 2 million till 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the response. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is quite brief. You have provided some key data points, but the lack of sufficient length means the overview and comparisons are under-developed. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed breakdown of the data, perhaps by grouping the sectors more effectively or adding more comparative analysis between the categories at different time intervals. The failure to reach the word count is a primary constraint on your score here.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, a body paragraph for manufacturing and retail, and a final paragraph for healthcare and agriculture. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition between sentences could be smoother; phrases like 'In 1960' and 'In contrast' are used, but the overall flow feels a bit disjointed due to the brevity of the sentences. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences are connected more fluidly to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main trends, such as 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'peak', and 'steadily'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of Jobs produced' (should be 'number of jobs in') and 'contribution in running economy' (which is awkward phrasing). The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on more academic collocations and ensuring correct word forms will help improve your score in this area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Retail also grew steadly' (spelling error), 'the lowest job created by healthcare sector' (missing article and preposition), and 'decreased to 2 million till 2020' (incorrect preposition). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for basic spelling mistakes. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will also be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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