Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the information of four major sector of economy regarding jobs in US over the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing remained the highest in terms of jobs but then gradually decreased at the end whereas jobs in healthcare and retail were less but had been subsequently increased by the year 2020. Agriculture started with same level of jobs as retail in 1960 but then became the lowest.

In the year 1960, manufacturing was the highest in number of jobs available that was 15 million, further increased more to 20 million in 1980 and then started declining and left with approximately 13 million jobs by the year 2020. In comparison to agriculture, which was the middle ranged in the year 1960 with around 7 million jobs and further was the lowest ranked in the year 2020 with around 2 million jobs.

Turning to retail and healthcare, retail sector had around 7 million jobs where healthcare was the lowest with apron 3 million jobs in the year 1960. But both had been significantly increased over the period, where healthcare remained a little lower than retail sector in terms of job in the year 1980 and 2000. In the end healthcare and retail provided same number of jobs that was 15 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the rise of healthcare and retail and the decline of manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that manufacturing 'remained the highest' is misleading as it was overtaken by other sectors by 2020. Additionally, the statement that agriculture started at the same level as retail in 1960 is not supported by the data provided. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the final figures, and some data points are described with minor inaccuracies. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview captures the most significant trends accurately and that all data points are cited with greater precision.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from a general summary to specific details. Cohesive devices such as 'In comparison to,' 'Turning to,' and 'In the end' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is smoother, as some connections between the data points feel slightly disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'gradually decreased,' 'significantly increased'). However, there are some errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'apron' instead of 'approximately' and 'sector of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy.' The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the sophistication or precision required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing data trends and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate spelling errors and minor grammatical inaccuracies in word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'show the information of four major sector' (should be 'sectors'), 'had been subsequently increased' (passive voice misuse), and 'left with approximately 13 million' (missing subject). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of passive voice, and ensuring that articles and plural forms are used consistently throughout the text.

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