Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors namely - manufacturing , retailing , agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US between the 1960 and 2020 . The data calibrated in millions.
Overall, it is noticable that the retail and healthcare was increased from the 1960 to 2020. However, agriculture system in the economy was decresed in 2020, but the manufacturing was also fell down in 2020.
To begin with the economy sector in manufacturing has enormously rise from the 1960 to 1980 which accounts for 15 million to 20 million . However, in the agriculture sector the date had decreased in 1960 from 6million to 4million in 1980. Morover , th retailing and healthcare sectors had rise from 1960 to 1980 which is around 5million and 10million approximately .
From 2000 to 2020 , the sector in manufacturing goods had fell down from the 17 million to 14 million . By contrast , the retailing and healthcare had significantly increased from the 11 million to 15 million , while the agriculture sector of the economy had decreased from the 3 million to 2 million which was around 1 million chnage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that retail and healthcare 'was increased' from 1960 to 2020 is a broad generalization that misses the specific fluctuations. The data reporting is inconsistent, with some figures being misread or poorly presented (e.g., the claim that manufacturing 'enormously rise' from 15 to 20 million between 1960 and 1980 is not fully supported by standard interpretations of such graphs). The response lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the most significant trends, focusing instead on isolated data points, which limits the depth of the analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'To begin with' is used to start a paragraph that discusses data, which is not the most appropriate transition for a summary task. There are also issues with referencing and flow, such as the abrupt shift between time periods. While the paragraphing is functional, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is often weak, making the progression of ideas feel somewhat disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of incorrect word forms and awkward collocations, such as 'the data calibrated in millions' (should be 'The data is calibrated in millions') and 'around 1 million chnage' (spelling error). The student relies on basic verbs like 'rise' and 'fell down' rather than more precise academic alternatives like 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary prevents the response from achieving a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, such as 'retail and healthcare was increased' and 'manufacturing goods had fell down'. There are also errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in the agriculture sector the date had decreased'. While the student attempts to use complex sentence structures, these are often marred by errors in tense usage (e.g., 'had decreased' where simple past is more appropriate). The range of structures is limited, and the frequency of errors is high enough to be noticeable.
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