Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph shows information about jobs in four economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Four sectors including Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare has been shown in which jobs rate changed over the time. Retail and Healthcare departments had a high number of positions until the end of 2020. While the others faced a decline in number. Below we will see a detail view to the changing trend in all areas.

Starting with the Manufacturing sector of the US which contained a highest number of employment positions at the time of 1960 as compared to other arears which was 15 millions. As the time passed this sector achieved a highest peak of its employment number in 1980 was about 20 millions. However, until the end of 2020, a decrease in jobs numbers has been seen which was even below than its starter up time.

If we look into the retail industry which actual got a significance increase in amount of jobs. At start its number was just a little higher than 5 millions but at the end of 2020, this sector achieved a remarkable number of jobs positions which was more than 15 millions.

While looking into the Agri-sector it has been clearly seen that at start this area contained a lowest number of available positions as compared to all sectors. And also reached into one of the lowest numbers of jobs even it is lower than its beginning.

At last, there is healthcare industry which reached into the highest point equals to retail company from the number of around 4 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, instead opting for a 'detail view' introduction. Some data points are inaccurate or poorly described, such as the claim that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980 when the graph shows a different peak, and the description of the healthcare sector is vague. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based jobs) rather than just listing sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'Starting with', 'If we look into', 'While looking into', 'At last'). The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the comparison between healthcare and retail is confusingly phrased. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly improve the flow and logical progression of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There is frequent reliance on basic phrasing (e.g., 'high number of positions', 'significant increase in amount of jobs'). Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'starter up time' instead of 'initial period' or 'retail company' when referring to an economic sector. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of varied, academic vocabulary limits the score. Incorporating more precise terminology related to trends and economic sectors would enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Four sectors... has been shown'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'reached into one of the lowest numbers'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence boundaries, such as fragments starting with 'And also'. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and reducing the frequency of errors in complex sentence constructions to ensure the majority of sentences are error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.