Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graphs represent the information regarding the counting of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the country of US over the period of 60 years
Overall, it can be seen clearly that the job of manufacturing was on the top in the begining , whilst it showed decline at the end . In contract, retail and healthcare jobs surpassed and reached at the highest point.
To commence with, by 1960 , the number of duties in retail and healthcare were identical at 6 millions , after 20 years the propotion of retail jobs had been increased by threefold in 2000 ,and between 2000 and 2020 it illustrated stable at 15 million , whereas agriculture depicted decline at 3 million in 1980 , 2000 and 2 millions in 2020 respectively.
Moreover, interest in manufacture jobs was on the peak started from 15 millions in 1960 and ends with 20 millions in 1980 , however after it showed gradually decreased and reached at 13 millions . In addition, the number of jobs in healthcare was inclined as rocked which was 6 millions in 1960 and 16 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining. Additionally, the description of retail and healthcare as 'identical at 6 millions' in 1960 is accurate, but the subsequent data points are often imprecise or misread. While you provide an overview, the lack of precision in reporting the figures hinders the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure that data points are carefully verified against the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast', though some are used incorrectly (e.g., 'In contract' instead of 'In contrast'). The progression of ideas is generally logical, moving from an overview to specific sector details. However, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother, more professional narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surpassed', 'proportion', and 'stable'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'counting of jobs', 'number of duties', and 'inclined as rocked'. These errors occasionally make the text sound unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct context, rather than relying on phrases that do not fit the formal tone of an IELTS report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and articles, such as 'the job of manufacturing was on the top', 'it illustrated stable', and 'interest in manufacture jobs was on the peak'. Additionally, there are issues with pluralisation, such as '6 millions' instead of '6 million'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.