Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The diagram illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different sectors that are agriculture, manufacturing, retail and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing jobs remained at top from 1960 until it was surpassed by retail and healthcare jobs in 2005 and 2010 respectively. Agriculture sector jobs kept on decreasing between 1960 and 2020 with the exception during 1980 to 2000 in which it remained almost same. Retail and healthcare jobs kept increasing with a good pace during these years.

The manufacturing sector jobs surged dramatically from 1960 to its peak of 20 million in 1980. During these 20 years agricultural sector jobs dropped sharply from approximately 6 million to almost 3 million whereas the retail and healthcare sector jobs increased steadily.

After 1980, manufacturing jobs kept on decreasing and ended third largest number of jobs in 2020. Healthcare sector witnessed a sharp rise from 1980 and surged the threshold of 10 million in the year 2000. Healthcare and retail sector jobs ended on top with almost 16 million jobs in 2020 as compared to agriculture which first declined sharply during 1960 and 1980 then it remained almost same for the next 20 years and after that it dipped more during 2000 and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting when manufacturing was surpassed by retail and healthcare. The key features, including the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the steady decline of agriculture, are well-highlighted. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are described with maximum precision; for instance, when mentioning that retail and healthcare 'ended on top', specifying their individual trajectories more clearly would strengthen the analysis. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group information by time periods. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'after 1980', and 'in contrast' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'kept on decreasing' is repeated, which affects the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends accurately, using terms like 'surged', 'dipped', 'witnessed a sharp rise', and 'surpassed'. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. Some word choices are slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'jobs' and 'kept on'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and varied synonyms for growth and decline, such as 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', or 'a significant upward trajectory'. The spelling is accurate throughout, and the vocabulary used does not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'The manufacturing sector jobs surged dramatically from 1960 to its peak of 20 million in 1980.' While most sentences are clear, there are some minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'remained at top' (should be 'at the top') and 'surged the threshold' (should be 'surpassed the threshold'). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, like 'ended third largest number of jobs'. Increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring greater precision in prepositional usage would help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

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