Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020

to start with, the maximum people worked in manufacturing sector in 1960 year , non of people worked in healthcare sector in this year, jobs of retail sector were 7 million in 1960 , rose in next year, then picked point 15 million in 2020 after that slight increase in next year. Moreover , jobs in healthcare and retail sectors were approximated remain in last year that 16 million

to move ahead, jobs in agriculture sector were decreased in all year and quite remained between 2000 to 2020 years.

overall , the jobs in manufacturing sector flucatuated , the jobs in retail and healthcare sectors climbed in all years, furthermore, agriculture sector a jobs were low in first year , remained minimum in all year as compared to other sector jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the four sectors, but the information provided is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that 'non of people worked in healthcare' in 1960 is likely a misinterpretation of the graph. The description of trends is also unclear; phrases like 'picked point 15 million in 2020 after that slight increase in next year' are contradictory and fail to accurately report the data. The overview is present but lacks clarity, and the data selection is inconsistent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends in the US economy over the period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While some transition markers like 'to start with' and 'to move ahead' are used, they feel mechanical and do not effectively link the ideas. The sentences within the paragraphs often lack cohesion, making the text feel like a list of disjointed observations rather than a structured report. Referencing is also problematic, as the subject of the sentences is sometimes unclear, which hinders the overall flow of the information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sector', and 'number'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'maximum people worked' instead of 'the largest number of people were employed' and 'approximated remain' instead of 'remained approximately'. The spelling of 'flucatuated' is incorrect. To improve, the student needs to use a wider range of synonyms and more precise collocations related to describing data and trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage ('in manufacturing sector'), subject-verb agreement ('jobs in agriculture sector were decreased'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack necessary punctuation, such as the opening sentence which lacks a capital letter and a period. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. Complex structures are largely absent or attempted with significant errors, which prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.

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