Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph provides information about number of jobs available in the united states of America in four different sectors from 1960to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that manufacturing department had highest jobs, whereas agriculture had lowest jobs. In addition, manufacturing and healthcare departments experienced decline while retail and agriculture represented incline through out the period.
Initially, job in manufacturing and agriculture sector declined significantly over the years. Both departments had highest jobs in 1960 and 1980 which was 6 millions and 20 millions, respectively. Moreover, both experienced decline in coming years and number of jobs reached at its lowest in 2020.
Similarly, retail and healthcare departments showed inclination in jobs. in 1960 both had approximately 2 millions and 6 millions jobs, respectively. The available jobs gradually increased and in 2000 11 millions and 15 millions jobs created by both sectors. Both sectors provided same employment in 2020 which was almost 16 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing had the highest jobs and agriculture the lowest, which contradicts the visual data. Furthermore, you mention that manufacturing and healthcare declined, while the graph shows healthcare increasing. These factual errors mean the response does not accurately report the information provided. While you attempt to identify trends, the misinterpretation of the data prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written statements with the specific data points on the axes and the legend.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Initially', and 'Similarly' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. Additionally, some referencing is slightly mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the logical flow of your sentences directly supports the data you are describing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You use a limited range of vocabulary, often repeating words like 'jobs', 'departments', and 'sectors'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing department' (instead of 'sector') and 'represented incline' (instead of 'showed an upward trend'). While the meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary is not sufficiently varied or precise to convey the information with sophistication. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends would significantly enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the united states', 'in manufacturing and agriculture sector') and prepositions ('reached at its lowest'). Subject-verb agreement and pluralisation are also inconsistent, such as 'manufacturing department had highest jobs'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the overall accuracy score. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, especially with articles and plural forms, will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.