Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph provides information about the number of jobs available in the United States of America in four different sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, whereas agriculture had the lowest. In addition, manufacturing and healthcare experienced declines, while retail and agriculture showed increases throughout the period.

Initially, the number of jobs in the manufacturing and agricultural sectors declined significantly over the years. Both sectors had their highest figures in 1960 and 1980, at 6 million and 20 million, respectively. Moreover, both experienced declines in the following years, and the number of jobs reached its lowest point in 2020.

Similarly, the retail and healthcare sectors showed increases in the number of jobs. In 1960, both had approximately 2 million and 6 million jobs, respectively. The number of available jobs gradually increased, and by 2000, 11 million and 15 million jobs were recorded in the two sectors, respectively. Both sectors provided the same level of employment in 2020, at almost 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview and identifies the main trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing and agriculture declined, whereas the graph indicates that manufacturing and agriculture were the sectors that declined, but you misidentify the starting figures and trends for others. Specifically, you claim agriculture showed increases, while the graph shows it declining from a high point. Additionally, the claim that retail and healthcare provided the same level of employment in 2020 is not supported by the visual data. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely and that comparisons are factually accurate based on the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Initially', 'Moreover', and 'Similarly' helps to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section, which makes the comparison feel slightly disjointed. Overall, the structure is sound and the information is presented in a readable, logical sequence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'sectors', 'experienced declines', 'gradually increased', and 'recorded'. The language is generally appropriate for an academic report. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choice is mostly accurate. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to avoid repetition, such as 'upward trajectory' or 'plummeted'. The current range is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct, and punctuation is handled well. There are no major errors that impede communication. You successfully use complex structures, such as 'while retail and agriculture showed increases', which demonstrates a good grasp of sentence variety. While there are occasional minor slips, the majority of your sentences are error-free. To improve, you could aim for more varied complex structures, such as using participle clauses or passive voice, to further enhance the academic tone of your writing.

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