Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
According to the line graph, in the year 1960 manufacturing was the job done by 15 million people and it reduced to 6 millions people for the Retail and Agriculture. Healthcare sector was perform was minority of 2 millions people. While in 1980 manufacturing sector employment increased to 20 millions further there had also increased in sector of Retail to 10 millions also in healthcare exactly 5 millions. On the other hand Agriculture sector employment decrease to 3 millions.
Furthermore, from the year 2000 and 2020 Retail sector increased steadily from 15 million to 16 millions and there had been sudden rose on the healthcare sector from 11 millions to 16 millions. Meanwhile manufacturing sector which was at top, employment started to decrease steadily to 13 millions. Agriculture sector was equal and steady for the last two decades but between 2000 and 2020 it decreased slightly to 2 millions.
To conclude, retail and healthcare were the only sectors were employment were rising in perfect manner. Agriculture is consider the least choice among the people and manufacturing was at the top in first but it decreased gradually.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, stating that manufacturing was 15 million in 1960 and then 'reduced to 6 millions' for Retail and Agriculture is confusing and misrepresents the graph's data points. The overview is also weak, as it fails to clearly highlight the most significant trends, such as the long-term decline of manufacturing versus the growth of healthcare. While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in interpreting the figures prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Meanwhile', and 'On the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the transition 'further there had also increased in sector of Retail' is grammatically disjointed, making the progression of ideas feel somewhat forced. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more refinement to ensure a smoother reading experience.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'millions'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'job done by', 'minority of 2 millions', and 'rising in perfect manner'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'employment figures') and ensure collocations are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Healthcare sector was perform', 'Agriculture is consider'), incorrect pluralisation ('6 millions'), and missing articles. The sentence structure is often repetitive, and the misuse of prepositions and verb tenses (e.g., 'there had been sudden rose') detracts from the overall quality. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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