Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph provides information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors showed a dramatical rise over the period of time. However, manufacturing's and agricultural' jobs showed almost similar fluctuations from the year 1980 to 20220.
In 1960, the total number of jobs in retail sector started from approximately above 5 millions, which then showed a rapid growth and reaching above 15 millions by the year 2020.
The healthcare sector remained the top company in terms of creating more jobs over the period of time, which just started from almost 2.5 millions and crossed 15 millions mark by the year 2020.
Initially, the manufacturing company was filled with almost 15 millions employees and reached around 20 millions jobs vacancies by year 1980, but after that the company showed a sharp drop by the year 2020. The total number of jobs inn agriculture sector observed steady decline over the period of the time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the text states the manufacturing sector reached 20 million jobs by 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking closer to 25 million. Additionally, referring to sectors as 'companies' (e.g., 'the healthcare sector remained the top company') is a conceptual error that misinterprets the data provided. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in data points and the misidentification of economic sectors as individual businesses limit the score. To improve, ensure that data is read accurately from the axes and that terminology reflects the nature of the data (sectors vs. companies).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Initially', and 'but after that' are used to link ideas. However, the progression is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'manufacturing's and agricultural' jobs', which is grammatically clunky and affects the flow. Referencing is generally clear, but the mechanical nature of some transitions prevents a higher score. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several errors in word choice and form. The use of 'dramatical' instead of 'dramatic' is a noticeable error. Referring to economic sectors as 'companies' is a persistent lexical inaccuracy that misrepresents the subject matter. There are also minor errors like 'inn' instead of 'in'. While the student attempts to use descriptive language like 'rapid growth' and 'sharp drop', the misuse of terminology and word forms prevents a higher band. Focusing on accurate terminology for economic data and proofreading for word forms would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'agricultural' jobs' (incorrect possessive form), 'the retail sector started from approximately above 5 millions' (redundant preposition and incorrect pluralization of million), and 'the year 20220' (typo). While the meaning is generally clear, these frequent errors in articles, plurals, and possessives indicate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and possessives, as these errors occur throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.