Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

According to the line graph, in the year 1960 manufacturing was the job done by 15 million people and it reduced to 6 million people for the Retail and Agriculture. The Healthcare sector was performed by minority of 2 million people. While in 1980 manufacturing sector employment increased to 20 million further there had also increased in sector of Retail to 10 millions also in healthcare exactly 5 million. On the other hand Agriculture sector employment decrease to 3 million.

Furthermore, from the year 2000 to 2020 Retail sector increased steadily from 15 million to 16 million and there had been sudden rose on the healthcare sector from 11 million to 16 million. Meanwhile manufacturing sector which was at top, employment started to decrease steadily to 13 million. Agriculture sector was equal and steady for the last two decades but between 2000 and 2020 it decreased slightly to 2 millions.

To conclude, retail and healthcare were the only sectors where employment was rising in perfect manner. Agriculture is considered the least choice among the people and manufacturing was at the top in first but it decreased gradually.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, but the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state manufacturing was 15 million in 1960, but the graph shows it closer to 20 million. Additionally, the description of trends is sometimes confusing, such as claiming the retail sector increased from 15 to 16 million between 2000 and 2020, which does not accurately reflect the visual data. While you identify the main features, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the axes with the data points to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Meanwhile', and 'To conclude' to link sentences. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the sentence 'further there had also increased in sector of Retail' is grammatically disjointed and lacks a clear subject. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each sentence has a clear subject-verb structure would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing', 'healthcare', and 'steadily'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'performed by minority of 2 million' and 'rising in perfect manner'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid informal phrasing. Expanding your repertoire of verbs to describe trends—such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'plummeted'—would also help you express the data more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles ('in sector of Retail'), incorrect verb tenses ('employment decrease to 3 million'), and awkward sentence construction ('there had been sudden rose on the healthcare sector'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors is noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practising the construction of complex sentences will help you achieve better control over your grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.