Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 8.5)
The line graph illustrates the changes in employment figures across four key sectors of the US economy—manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture—between 1960 and 2020, measured in millions of jobs.
Overall, the six-decade period saw a clear structural shift in the American labor market. While jobs in the healthcare and retail industries experienced sustained, long-term growth, employment in manufacturing and agriculture showed an overall downward trend.
In 1960, manufacturing was by far the largest employer, providing roughly 15 million jobs. Although this number rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980, it subsequently entered a steady decline, dropping to approximately 13 million by 2020. Similarly, agriculture saw a continuous reduction in workforce size, falling from around 6 million positions in 1960 to just 2 million by the end of the period, consistently remaining the smallest sector.
In contrast, employment in healthcare and retail grew substantially. Healthcare started as the smallest employer in 1960 with only 2 million jobs, but underwent a dramatic upward surge over the 60 years. Retai followed a comparable upward trajectory, rising steadily from 6 million in 1960. By 2020, both healthcare and retail had converged at the top, each accounting for approximately 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 8.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.5 |
| Overall | 8.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5
The response is excellent. You have successfully identified the main features of the graph, including the structural shift in the US labor market and the contrasting trends between the sectors. You have made relevant comparisons, such as noting that healthcare and retail converged at the top by 2020, and you have supported your points with accurate data from the graph. The overview is clear and effectively summarizes the key trends over the six-decade period. You have fully addressed all parts of the task, providing a well-developed and coherent summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the information effectively. The progression of ideas is smooth, moving from the general trend to specific details about the declining sectors, and then to the growing sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Similarly', and 'Although' are used naturally and effectively to link ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends, making the information easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
You demonstrate a wide and sophisticated range of vocabulary, which is used with precision. Phrases like 'structural shift', 'sustained, long-term growth', 'upward trajectory', and 'converged at the top' are excellent examples of natural, academic language. There is only one minor typographical error ('Retai' instead of 'Retail'), which does not impede communication. The use of topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and economic trends is highly effective and contributes to the overall clarity and professional tone of the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5
The writing displays a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although this number rose to a peak... it subsequently entered a steady decline'). The majority of sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation and tense usage is strong. The grammar is accurate throughout, and there are no errors that cause any difficulty for the reader. The sentence variety helps maintain a good flow and keeps the reader engaged.
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