Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The information about about the number of jobs in four various sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 is showed by the line graph. The data is measured in millions.
Overall, healthcare and retail increased gradually throughout the years, while manufacturing witnessed a decline and healthcare fell slightly in the first year and then it remained the same.
To begin with, Retail and healthcare climbed up from 1969 to 2020. Retail stood at around 6 million in 1960 before increasing to 15 million in 2000 then it levelled out at 16 million between 2000 and 2020. In addition, healthcare accounted to approximately 2.5 million and it recorded a grow entire the period and reached 16 million.
Turning to manufacturing, it showed an incline at the early age and it was around 20 million before decreasing to approximately 17 million in 2000 then it again went down to 13 million. Moreover, agriculture experienced a down ward from 1960 to 1980. After that, it remained intact in the remaining years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare 'fell slightly in the first year', which is not supported by the graph, and your description of manufacturing's peak is imprecise. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to these factual errors. To improve, ensure that your summary of trends is strictly supported by the visual data provided and avoid contradictory statements. The task is addressed, but the lack of precision in data interpretation limits the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'Turning to' are used to signal transitions between ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'it recorded a grow entire the period'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within sentences is sometimes mechanical or imprecise, which prevents a higher score. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the progression of ideas feel more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'recorded a grow entire the period', 'incline at the early age', and 'remained intact' are unnatural or inaccurate in this context. While you demonstrate a sufficient range to describe trends (e.g., 'increased gradually', 'levelled out'), the frequent errors in word formation and collocation indicate a limited control over more sophisticated vocabulary. Focusing on learning the correct collocations for describing graphs—such as 'experienced a decline' or 'remained stable'—will significantly improve your lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'is showed by the line graph' (passive voice error), 'accounted to' (preposition error), and 'a down ward' (word class error). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, you should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that passive constructions are formed accurately. Proofreading for basic errors in tense and word form would also be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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