Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The information about the number of jobs in four various sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 is presented by the line graph. The data is measured in millions.
Overall, healthcare and retail increased gradually throughout the years, while manufacturing witnessed a decline and healthcare fell slightly in the first year and then it remained the same.
To begin with, Retail and healthcare climbed up from 1969 to 2020. Retail stood at around 6 million in 1960 before increasing to 15 million in 2000 then it levelled out at 16 million between 2000 and 2020. In addition, healthcare accounted to approximately 2.5 million and it recorded a growth entire the period and reached 16 million.
Turning to manufacturing, it showed an incline at the early age and it was around 20 million before decreasing to approximately 17 million in 2000 then it again went down to 13 million. Moreover, agriculture experienced a downward trend from 1960 to 1980. After that, it remained intact in the remaining years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare 'remained the same' in the first year, which is not supported by the graph, and you mention '1969' as a starting point when the graph clearly begins in 1960. Furthermore, the description of manufacturing as having an 'incline at the early age' is vague and inaccurate, as the trend is clearly downward. While you have selected main features, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that every figure and date cited matches the visual data exactly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'In addition,' and 'Turning to,' which help the flow. However, the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the overview is slightly confusing because it contradicts itself regarding the healthcare trend. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the progression of ideas within the paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure that your overview clearly summarizes the most significant trends without introducing contradictory information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'witnessed a decline,' 'downward trend,' and 'levelled out.' However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'remained intact' (which is usually used for objects, not data trends) and 'at the early age' (which is inappropriate for describing a time period). There is also a minor error in 'growth entire the period,' which should be 'throughout the period.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding informal or misused phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'accounted to' (should be 'accounted for'), 'incline' used as a noun in an awkward context, and 'remained intact in the remaining years.' Punctuation is generally acceptable, but some sentences are slightly clunky. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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