Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the numer of jobs in defferent sectors of the economy in the United state of America from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be noted that, in manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs from [redacted phone] then in slowly decreased in 2020. Whereas, healthcare sectors had the lowest number of jobs from 1980 to 2020.
In 1960, 15 millions of jobs in manufacturing sectors, than it increased 1980 and reached to 20 millions. After 1980, it was gradually decreased throughout the year and account for around 13 millions. In a retail sectors approximately 6 millions of jobs in 1960 and it rapidly rise all over the years and reached to roughly 16% in 2020.
However, around 3 millions of jobs in 1960 in agriculture sectors, which was sharply increased throughout the year and accounted above 15 millions. Furthermore, in 1960 above 5 millions of jobs in healthcare sectors, but it decline in 1980 and account for below 5 millions. After 1980, it was remained stable throughout the years and reached to around 3 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you mention that retail reached '16%' in 2020, but the graph displays units of 'millions', not percentages. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly imprecise. While you have identified the key trends, the lack of precision in data interpretation and the confusion between units (millions vs. percentages) prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully check the labels on the axes and report figures exactly as they appear in the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'throughout the year' are used repeatedly and incorrectly, as the data spans several decades, not a single year. Furthermore, the transition between sentences is occasionally abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context would enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors, such as 'numer' instead of 'number' and 'defferent' instead of 'different'. You also struggle with word choice and collocation, such as 'rapidly rise' (should be 'rose rapidly') and 'account for' (used incorrectly in several instances). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the frequent errors in spelling and word formation limit the score. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning the correct collocations for describing trends will help you achieve a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'in manufacturing sector had' and 'it was gradually decreased'. The misuse of prepositions and articles is also noticeable throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence structure indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of tense consistency when describing past trends.
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