Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line chart illustrates how many jobs are available in the four sectors of the economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing was the dominating sector until 2000, reaching the highest point in 1980, and thereafter, fell steadily. Retail and healthcare, on the other hand, had an upward trend throughout the period. Meanwhile, agriculture fell continuously from 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, the number of manufacturing jobs in the US were 15 millions, which peaked at about 20 million in 1980, and fell down to approximately 14 million jobs in 2020. Furthermore, the agriculture and retail sectors had about 6 million jobs, initially, with agriculture declining significantly to approximately 4 million jobs in 1980 and remained below the range of 5 million jobs until 2020.
On the contrary, retail and healthcare sectors of the US had about 6 million and 2 million jobs, respectively, in 1960 which towards the end crossed the number of employment in manufacturing sector, having jobs just above 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have successfully highlighted the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. The data is generally accurate, and comparisons are made throughout the report. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are precise; for example, stating '15 millions' is grammatically incorrect and slightly imprecise. Additionally, ensure that the comparison between sectors is fully developed by consistently referencing the specific timeframes mentioned in the prompt to avoid ambiguity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the information effectively. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'on the other hand,' 'Meanwhile,' and 'On the contrary' helps to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. The progression of ideas is clear, though some transitions could be more varied to improve the flow. The referencing is generally accurate, though minor improvements in sentence-level cohesion would enhance the overall readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'dominating sector,' 'upward trend,' and 'declining significantly.' However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'fell down' instead of 'fell' or 'declined,' and 'crossed the number of employment' which is slightly awkward. While you successfully use sector-specific terminology, incorporating a few more sophisticated synonyms for 'increase' or 'decrease' would demonstrate a wider range. The errors present do not impede communication, but they prevent the response from reaching the highest band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are some grammatical slips, such as 'the number of manufacturing jobs... were 15 millions' (subject-verb agreement and pluralization error) and 'remained below the range of 5 million jobs' (which is slightly confusing). Punctuation is generally handled well, but there are occasional errors in article usage and plural forms. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of articles when discussing numerical data. The errors present are noticeable but do not cause difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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