Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs available in four areas of the economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care) in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and and health sectors experience an upward trend in the period given. However, the agriculture sector recorded the least number of jobs available in the US as apposed to the manufacturing sector which was the highest at the initial year of the period and dipping slightly before it declined drastically at the final stage of the period given.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector recorded the highest number of jobs available for the citizens in the US beginning at around 15millions. This number rose slightly to about 20millions in 1980 before it experience a dramatic downward trends in 2000 and 2020 recording just around 17millions and 15millions respectively. In contrast to the agriculture sector which had the least number of jobs available for the America citizens starting at about 6millions jobs in 1960 and this number decreased to approximately 4millions jobs in 1980 before it maintains a relatively steady growth of jobs available in the last 20 years.

By contrast to the remaining two sectors the retail and health care both of them experienced an upward trends in the period given. In 1960, the retail sector begins at around 6millions jobs and for the health sector its just around 3millions jobs in the same year. Sequentially, these figures for both sectors increased slightly in 1980, the retail sector recorded recorded 10 millions jobs and 5millions jobs where available in the healthcare sector. In the last 20 years the number of jobs for these two sectors surge. In 2000, the retail and healthcare sectors have about 15millions and 12millions jobs available in the US respectively and both sectors got the same number of jobs in 2020 at above 15millions accordingly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons between them, such as contrasting the decline in manufacturing with the growth in retail and health care. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting; for example, you state manufacturing began at 15 million, whereas the graph shows it closer to 17 million. Additionally, your description of the manufacturing trend as 'dipping slightly' before a 'drastic' decline is slightly imprecise given the data points. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with greater precision and that the summary highlights the most significant shifts more concisely.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast to', 'By contrast to', and 'Sequentially' to link your ideas. However, some of these transitions are slightly mechanical or used incorrectly, such as 'As apposed to' (which should be 'as opposed to') and the repetitive use of 'in the period given'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the flow between sentences could be improved by varying the structure of your cohesive links to avoid a repetitive feel.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'dramatic downward trends', and 'surge'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'), 'at the initial year', and 'as apposed to'. Additionally, there are some spelling errors, such as 'millions' being written with an 's' when preceded by a number (e.g., '15millions'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing will improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, you write 'the retail sector begins' (should be 'began') and 'it experience a dramatic' (should be 'it experienced'). There are also issues with punctuation and article usage, such as 'the retail and and health sectors' and 'the healthcare sector its just around'. While you show an ability to construct complex sentences, the frequency of these minor errors indicates a need for more careful proofreading to ensure consistent accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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