Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in the four economic sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during a period of six decades. The data is in millions.

Overall, the career opportunities in retail and healthcare sectors were increased, whereas jobs in agriculture and manufacturing domains decreased by the end of the given period.

At first glance, the manufacturing occupations were around 15 millions in the initial period. After that, the figure rose and reached a peak to 20 millions in 1980. Although, this pattern got a drop in the last two years, it was nearly 17 million in 2000 and approximately 12 million in the last given period. Moreover, there were about 6 million retail jobs in 1960, which showed a gradual increase of about 5 million each for the next two given years and reached to the highest number of 17 million jobs in 2020.

Moving further, the number of agricultural employment decreased drastically over the given period, initially it was around 6 millions which plummeted to about 3 million in 1980 and remained constant till 2000. It then again got a fall of approximately 1 million in the final year. While, the pattern of healthcare jobs climbed significantly, it was around 2 million in the initial year which rose sharply to 5 millions in second year and continued to reach its highest point of nearly 16 million in the last given period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise. For example, stating manufacturing reached a peak of '20 millions' in 1980 is slightly inaccurate based on standard graph interpretation, and the phrase 'last two years' is confusing when referring to a 60-year period. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and avoid vague time references.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'At first glance,' 'Moreover,' and 'Moving further' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'Although, this pattern got a drop,' which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly rather than listing them sequentially.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted,' 'gradual increase,' and 'economic sectors.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'career opportunities' (when referring to job numbers) and 'in the last given period' (which is repetitive). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some phrasing remains slightly unnatural. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and focusing on more precise collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the career opportunities... were increased' (passive voice error), 'reached a peak to 20 millions' (preposition and pluralization error), and 'it was around 6 millions' (unnecessary plural). These errors occur frequently enough to be noticeable but do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions with numerical data.

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