Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in the four economic sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during a period of six decades. The data is in millions.

Overall, the career opportunities in retail and healthcare sectors were increased, whereas jobs in agriculture and manufacturing domains decreased by the end of the given period.

At first glance, the manufacturing occupations were around 15 millions in the initial period. After that, the figure rose and reached a peak to 20 millions in 1980. Although, this pattern got a drop in the last two years, it was nearly 17 million in 2000 and approximately 12 million in the last given period. Moreover, there were about 6 million retail jobs in 1960, which showed a gradual increase of about 5 million each for the next two given years and reached to the highest number of 17 million jobs in 2020.

Moving further, the number of agricultural employment decreased drastically over the given period, initially it was around 6 millions which plummeted to about 3 million in 1980 and remained constant till 2000. It then again got a fall of approximately 1 million in the final year. While, the pattern of healthcare jobs climbed significantly, it was around 2 million in the initial year which rose sharply to 5 millions in second year and continued to reach its highest point of nearly 16 million in the last given period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as contrasting the growth in retail and healthcare with the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the report could be improved by ensuring the data points are more precise. For instance, stating 'the last two years' is inaccurate as the graph spans decades. Additionally, some figures are slightly imprecise compared to the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure that your overview highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing trends, and maintain strict accuracy when referencing timeframes and numerical values.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'At first glance', 'Moreover', and 'Moving further' to guide the reader through the data. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the use of 'While' at the start of the final sentence is grammatically awkward as it introduces a clause that does not contrast with the preceding one in the intended way. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the sectors, which helps the overall flow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words that connect ideas more naturally rather than relying on standard sequence markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted', 'gradual increase', and 'economic sectors' appropriately. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'career opportunities... were increased' (passive voice is unnecessary here) and 'reached a peak to 20 millions' (the preposition 'to' is redundant after 'peak'). You also use 'millions' as a plural noun when referring to specific quantities, which is a common error; it should be '15 million'. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated collocations related to data trends would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. For example, 'the figure rose and reached a peak to 20 millions' contains an error in preposition use and pluralization. The phrase 'Although, this pattern got a drop' is also awkward; 'got a drop' is informal and 'Although' is used incorrectly as a conjunction here. There are also minor punctuation errors, such as unnecessary commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of subordinating conjunctions to create more complex, error-free sentences.

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