Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line chart illustrates the figure for employment among four distinct sectors of the economy in the US, from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased over the period, while the opposite trend was observed in manufacturing and agricultural areas. Additionally, manufacturing was the most popular job sector before 2000.
In 1960, the highest number of people were employed in manufacturing with 15 million jobs, before peaking in 1980, reaching 20 million jobs. After that, the figures began to decrease, falling around 13 million jobs. Citizens employed in agriculture stood at approximately 6 million jobs in 1960, which declined consistently to 3 million jobs by 2020.
Jobs in retail was at same level as agriculture's in 1960. While the figures for agriculture plummeted, the employment in retail sector grew over the time, reaching roughly 16 million jobs. Healthcare had the lowest number of jobs in 1960 with nearly 2.5 million employees only. The figure surged throughout the period, standing at 16 million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The comparisons are relevant and supported by data points from the graph. However, the report could be improved by ensuring all data points are clearly linked to the specific years mentioned in the prompt. For instance, the final figure for manufacturing is described as 'falling around 13 million jobs' without specifying the end year (2020). Overall, the task is well-addressed with a logical selection of information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs focusing on the different trends. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'Additionally,' 'In 1960,' and 'While' are used effectively to guide the reader through the information. The progression of ideas is smooth, moving from the general trends to specific sector details. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. The referencing is generally clear, though some minor improvements in sentence-to-sentence flow could make the writing feel more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'plummeted,' 'surged,' and 'distinct sectors' show an attempt to use more precise language. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'the figure for employment' (should be 'the number of jobs' or 'employment figures') and 'at same level as' (missing an article: 'at the same level as'). Despite these small errors, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and does not impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, but there are some recurring errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('Jobs in retail was' should be 'were') and missing articles ('in retail sector' should be 'in the retail sector'). Additionally, the final sentence is incomplete, ending abruptly without a full stop or a clear conclusion to the data point. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading to reach a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.