Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the rate of jobs in four sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy system in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing sector was choose at highest level of economy in starting of year but by the end of period it started decline. In contrast, Healthcare was least prefered for the jobs but its significantly started increased then it become top-notch by end of period.

Initially, Manufacturing sectors have a favour at maximum level was about 15 jobs million in 1960. Moreover, its became at most significant point in 1980 accounted 20 jobs million. However, In 2000, Manufacturing started decline about 16 million and 13 jobs million in 2020. On the other hand, The Healthcare sector was least perfer in 1960 around 2 million. Then, Over the time its started gradually increased 5 million in 1980. While, 10 million job in 2000. In 2020, it was at top level economyin the us about 5.1 jobs million. However, The Agriculture sector follow same pattern likewise 2 million in 1960 which was lowest among all sectors. Then after, 5 million jobs in 1980. In 2000, it accounted at 11 million jobs. While, In 2020 jobs level increased about 16 million jobs. In addition, Retail sector follows totally opposite trend in which from 1960 it was 6 million. Then its started droping 4 million in 1980. In 2000, about 3 million jobs. Then, 2020 accounted to 2 million jobs at lowest level.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state the Healthcare sector reached 5.1 million in 2020, while the graph shows it reaching a much higher figure, and you misinterpret the Retail sector's trend. The overview is present but lacks precision due to these data errors. To improve, ensure that figures are transcribed accurately from the graph and that the 'main features' are clearly highlighted without confusing the sectors or their respective values.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Then after' and 'While, In 2020' are used incorrectly, disrupting the flow of information. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by these awkward transitions. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'conversely', 'meanwhile') and ensure they are used to connect sentences logically rather than just acting as sentence starters.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'economy system', 'top-notch', and 'least prefered'. The repetition of 'jobs million' instead of 'million jobs' also indicates a lack of flexibility. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'. Avoid informal or non-standard phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manufacturing sectors have a favour'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'was choose', 'started decline'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and article usage.

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