Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the information about numerous job vacancies in various categories of the economy in the USA and the time period was 6 decades.
Overall, it can be clearly observed that, the highest jobs were found in manufacturing field. However, the lowest jobs were noticed in health care department in the initial year.
To begin with, according to the chart, the maximum job vacancies were reported in the manufacturing companies among the other categories. While, the retail industry and agriculture fields were almost similar job demands, which was 5 millions in initial year. Additionally, the healthcare sectors were less jobs. In addition to this, after two decades, there were major changes have been showed in all departments. Firstly, the manufacturing sectors, retailers and healthcare departments were observed dramatically increased over the period of time. In contrast, the agricultural field was slightly decreased in 1980.
Furthermore, the continuously decline has been noticed in manufacturing industries and agriculture sector over the period of time. Meanwhile, the healthcare department and retail companies have been rocketed up. Lastly, the retail and healthcare sectors were achieved top position. Conversely, the manufacturing and agriculture industries were reached down fall in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and lacks precision. While you identify the trends, the description of the data is often vague or inaccurate (e.g., stating manufacturing had the highest jobs throughout, which contradicts the visual data in later years). The overview is present but lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, such as the cross-over points between sectors. To improve, ensure you accurately interpret the data points and provide specific figures to support your claims rather than using general terms like 'major changes' or 'top position'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical and sometimes misused. For example, 'In addition to this' and 'Furthermore' are used to link sentences that do not always follow a logical progression. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words more naturally would help elevate the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and limited. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'departments', and 'categories'. While there is an attempt to use more descriptive language such as 'dramatically increased' and 'rocketed up', these are sometimes used inaccurately or in contexts that do not fit the formal tone required for an Academic Task 1. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable', and avoid informal phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently struggle with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'there were major changes have been showed' and 'the continuously decline has been noticed'. Additionally, there are errors in article usage and pluralisation (e.g., 'the manufacturing sectors, retailers and healthcare departments were observed dramatically increased'). These errors occur frequently and occasionally impede the clarity of your message. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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