Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The multiline chart illustrates the number of jobs in the four economic sectors in the US over the period of [redacted phone].

Overall, the occupation rates for the retail and agriculture sectors showed an elevation between the years 1960 and 2020 whereas healthcare sector showed a gradual decline. And the manufacturing sector showed sectors showed several fluctuations.

The line diagram depicts trends in rate of job occupations such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. In the year 1960, manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs which increased steadily till 1980 up to 20 million. After that year, the proportion start declining gradually to almost 17 million jobs in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Retail sector offered nearly around 6 million jobs in 1960 and the figure rise significantly up to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. afterwards, it increased slightly to almost 16 million in 2020. Agriculture sector showed similar trend, starting from 2.5 million jobs in 1960 to reaching 16 million jobs in 2020. At last healthcare sector started from 6 million jobs in 1960 and the figure decreased in the following years and finally reached almost 2 million in 2020.

To conclude by the year 2020, the retail and agriculture sectors has the largest number of jobs as compared to the other economic sectrors in th US while the healthcare has minimum number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation. For example, you state the healthcare sector showed a 'gradual decline' and reached '2 million' in 2020, whereas the graph shows it as the sector with the most significant growth. Additionally, you mention the manufacturing sector had 'several fluctuations,' but the description provided is quite basic. The overview is present but contains factual errors regarding the trends, which impacts the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the data points with the visual information provided to avoid misrepresenting the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall,' 'In the year 1960,' and 'To conclude,' which provide a basic framework. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing and retail sections is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would help the progression of ideas feel more natural and sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations,' 'steadily,' and 'proportion.' However, there are some word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'occupation rates' (instead of 'employment figures') and 'at last healthcare sector' (which is not a standard transition). There are also minor spelling errors like 'sectrors' and 'th US.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to economic data and ensure that your spelling and word choice are consistently accurate throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the proportion start declining' (subject-verb agreement), 'retail and agriculture sectors has' (subject-verb agreement), and 'the figure rise significantly' (tense error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing articles and inconsistent verb tenses throughout the text. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and maintaining consistent tense usage when describing past trends. Proofreading for these specific types of errors will help increase your score.

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