Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The Graph illustrate about the sector of the economy of US from 1960 to 2020. The sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare.
Overall, The manufracting sector was at 15 million job in 1960 and in 1980 it is at 20 and retail sector at starting it was at 5 millions jobs in 1960 and in 1980 it was at 10. The agriculture sector is at 5 in 1960 and in 1980 it was at 4 million jobs. The healthcare sector was at 2 in 1960 and in 1980 it was 5 million job.
From The year 1980 to 2000, The manufracting sector was at 20 million job in 1980 and in 2000 it is at 16 and retail sector at starting it was at 10 millions jobs in 1980 and in 2000 it was at 15. The agriculture sector is at 3 in 1980 and in 2000 it was at 3 million jobs. The healthcare sector was at 5 in 1980 and in 2000 it was 11 million job.
From The year 2000 to 2020, The manufracting sector was at 16 million job in 2000 and in 2020 it is at 13 and retail sector at starting it was at 10 millions jobs in 2000 and in 2020 it was at 21. The agriculture sector is at 3 in 2000 and in 2020 it was at 2 million jobs. The healthcare sector was at 11 in 2000 and in 2020 it was 21 million job.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and reporting figures across the specified time periods. However, the approach is overly mechanical, listing data point by point rather than selecting and highlighting the main trends or significant comparisons. For example, the report simply repeats the figures for each sector in each time block without synthesizing the information. To reach a higher band, you should group the data by trends (e.g., sectors that grew versus those that declined) and provide a clear overview of the most significant changes, such as the dramatic rise in healthcare and retail compared to the decline in agriculture.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs based on time periods, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is repetitive and lacks cohesive devices to link the sentences smoothly. Phrases like 'The manufracting sector was at...' are repeated in every paragraph, making the writing feel mechanical. There is a lack of variety in transition words, and the referencing is often unclear. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' 'Conversely') and vary your sentence structure to avoid the repetitive list-like format.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on the words provided in the prompt. There are several spelling errors, such as 'manufracting' instead of 'manufacturing' and 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrates'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends effectively; for instance, you use 'at' repeatedly to describe figures rather than using more precise verbs like 'peaked,' 'fluctuated,' 'declined,' or 'surpassed.' Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns related to data analysis is essential for a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of information. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The Graph illustrate') and article usage (e.g., 'The manufracting sector'). Additionally, the sentence structures are very simple and repetitive, lacking the complex grammatical forms required for higher bands. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation. Focusing on basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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