Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph elucidates the information form 1960 to 2020 regarding the jobs in four distinct category of economy in the us.
Considering from un overall perspective, in the year 1960 the highest numbers of job was observed in manufacturing section where as the lowest was noticed in healthcare site. Moreover, in the year 2020 the lowest job was withnessed in agriculture where as highest was recorded in retail and healthcare.
To begin with, in manufacturing sector had higher availability of job in 1980 as compare to 1960 where as formar one accounted 15 millions and latter one noticed 20millions. In 2000 around 17 millions was observed And again 15 millions recoded in 2020. Moreover ,nearly 7millions retai job was noticed in 1960 ,which gradually increase till 2020 and recoded up to 16million.
Furthermore, around 6millions agriculture job was noticed in 1960. Which fall in 1980 and 2000 and notice around 3millions. Apart from this approximately 3millions healthcare job was ovserde in 1960 which was increasing throughout the given year and noticed near 16millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is slightly confusing; for instance, stating that the lowest number of jobs in 2020 was in agriculture while the highest was in retail and healthcare is accurate, but the overall summary lacks clarity. The data reporting is generally accurate, though some figures are presented in a disjointed manner. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview provides a clearer synthesis of the most significant trends rather than just listing isolated data points. The comparison between sectors is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the shifting economic landscape over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Considering from un overall perspective' and 'formar one accounted'. There are also issues with sentence structure that affect the flow, such as the fragmented sentence starting with 'Which fall in 1980'. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore', the logical progression between sentences is sometimes interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition signals would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'withnessed' instead of 'witnessed', 'retai' instead of 'retail', and 'ovserde' instead of 'observed'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic descriptors like 'highest' and 'lowest'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the consistent spelling mistakes prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more varied synonyms for trends and ensuring accurate spelling of key terms related to economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect article usage ('in manufacturing sector'), subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing sector had higher availability'), and awkward phrasing ('the formar one accounted 15 millions'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and capitalisation. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their high frequency is a significant distraction. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
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