Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph shows about job vacancies in four sectors of economy in US during the period of 1960 to 1920. It has been observed that manufacturing,retail and healthcare units made progress in 1980 to point 15 10 and 5 percent.decline occured in manufacturing in 2000 to 12 percent as compared to retail and healthcare.On the other hand dicrease in agriculture occured from 6 percent onward to 2020.Overall manufacturing and agricultural units show fall in production in 2020.This is an alarming situation.Healthcare unit made overall progress till 2020 on contrary retail unit shows production about 14 percent in 2020. Overall comparison of 4 units , agricultural is at loss and retail and healthcare are making much progress as compared to others.graph depicts production in different time period from 1900 to 2020. This situation is horrible.govt shou

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is problematic; the data interpretation is inaccurate, and the dates mentioned (e.g., 1920, 1900) do not align with the provided graph (1960–2020). The response lacks a clear overview of the main trends, instead focusing on fragmented, confusing data points. The inclusion of personal opinions like 'This is an alarming situation' and 'This situation is horrible' is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which requires an objective summary of the data. The response is also incomplete, ending abruptly with 'govt shou'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks logical organization. There is no clear paragraph structure, and the sentences are disjointed, making it difficult to follow the progression of information. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, leading to a repetitive and mechanical flow. The transition between ideas is abrupt, and the lack of a proper introduction or conclusion further hinders the overall coherence. The text reads more like a collection of isolated observations rather than a structured report.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The range of vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as using 'units' to describe economic sectors and 'production' to describe job numbers. Spelling errors (e.g., 'occured', 'dicrease') are present. The vocabulary used is repetitive and lacks the precision required to describe trends in a graph. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for data reporting, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments and run-on sentences. Punctuation is inconsistent, and there are errors in basic subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. Complex structures are either absent or attempted with significant errors. The incomplete nature of the final sentence also demonstrates a lack of control over basic sentence construction.

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