Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph explains data about the multiple jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

overall, the healthcare department jobs rapidly increased over the time, whereas, the agriculture sectors gradually declined with the passage of time.

First of all, The manufacturing industry was provided highest jobs in 1960 at 15 millions and rose steadily in 1980 at 20 billions but slightly down till 2020.

Furthermore, The Retail area was sharply grew up over the time, there are 5 billions jobs in 1960 and almost 15 billions jobs in 2020. it was a huge changed in the retail sectors.

In agriculture department, the diagram shows the major down fall. This sector was provided less jobs and almost remains changed.

In Medical and healthcare sectors, jobs are sharply increased after passing the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is underdeveloped. You mention the manufacturing and retail sectors but provide inaccurate data (e.g., citing 'billions' instead of 'millions') and fail to provide a comprehensive comparison across the entire period. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully cover the task requirements. To improve, ensure you include all data points accurately and extend your analysis by comparing the sectors more effectively throughout the 60-year timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'First of all', 'Furthermore'). The logical progression between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors, making some parts of the text feel disjointed. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the overall trend described in the introduction.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are significant issues with word choice and accuracy, such as using 'billions' instead of 'millions' when describing job numbers, which distorts the data. Phrases like 'huge changed' and 'major down fall' are grammatically incorrect and demonstrate a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and ensure that your terminology accurately reflects the data presented in the graph. Avoid repeating basic verbs like 'increased' or 'provided'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Retail area was sharply grew up'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'The manufacturing industry was provided highest jobs'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization. The range of structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and verb forms before attempting more complex structures.

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