Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the numbers of jobs available four sectors ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) of the economy in America from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, the jobs vacancies in manufacturing sector experienced dramatic fall by 2020. Whereas, more job opportunities observed in healthcare sector by final year. The number of jobs constantly increased in retail sector while agriculture sector jobs declined over the period. the employment deceased in manufacturing and agriculture sectors whereas, work opportunities increased in healthcare and retail sectors.

In terms of manufacturing sector, started from 15 million jobs in 1960 reached to peak of 20 million jobs by 1980, and drooped nearly at 13 million jobs by 2020. Agriculture sector jobs initiated from 6 million in 1960 that fell 3 million jobs by 1980 and consistently deceased to around 2 million by 2020.

Healthcare sectors jobs started from about 2 million jobs only in 1960 and constantly progressed each year and climbed to nearly 15 million jobs by 2020. Retail sector showed progressive growth initiated from 6 million by 1960 , increased jobs to 15 millions in 2000 and remained around 15 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the contrasting movements in the four sectors, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. The key features are highlighted, and comparisons are made between the sectors. However, the overview paragraph is slightly repetitive, as it lists the trends twice in different ways. To improve, ensure the overview synthesizes the information more concisely without restating the same points. Overall, the data is accurately reported, and the main features are well-selected.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas throughout the text. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In terms of' and 'Whereas', to link ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow could be smoother. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be more refined. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow the comparison effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dramatic fall', 'progressive growth', and 'consistently increased'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs vacancies' instead of 'job vacancies' and 'drooped' instead of 'dropped'. Additionally, there are some repetitive phrasing patterns. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increased' and 'decreased' and ensure that collocations are used accurately. Despite these minor issues, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly throughout the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector') and verb tenses ('employment deceased' instead of 'decreased'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'started from 15 million jobs... reached to peak'. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring accuracy will help improve this score.

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