Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the different kinds of jobs in four fields of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, in US number of jobs in four sectors such as, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare have been done in good compact in between 1960 and 2020.
Initially, in Manufacturing sector 15 million job vacancies were hired in 1960 continued to 20 millions in 1980. Unfortunately employees were removed after 1980 and slowly it came to an end above 10 millions in the year 2020. Moreover, Retail and Healthcare fields hired employees one is nearly 5 millions another is less than 5 millions. Suddenly Retail management increased their vacancies and finally the job market was come up to 15 millions and Agriculture decreased their vacancy to less than 5 million jobs in 2020.
On the other hand, Healthcare system has started with lower than 5 million jobs in 1960 and continuously enlarged their vacancies without degrade and reached to good position above 15 million jobs in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in Manufacturing and the growth in Healthcare. However, the overview is weak and lacks clarity; the phrase 'good compact' is confusing and does not effectively summarise the overall trends. While the key features are mentioned, the data reporting is sometimes imprecise, such as describing the start of the Healthcare sector as 'lower than 5 million' when the graph clearly shows it starting at approximately 2 million. The response would benefit from a more analytical approach that groups the sectors by their performance trends rather than listing them individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'Moreover' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Suddenly Retail management increased their vacancies'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed in relation to the data points. Improved use of linking words and clearer transitions between the trends would enhance the logical progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'hired', 'vacancies', and 'jobs'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'good compact', 'employees were removed', and 'without degrade'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of the message. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'witnessed significant growth', and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. Examples include 'in US number of jobs... have been done', 'the job market was come up to', and 'Healthcare system has started... and continuously enlarged'. These errors involve subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and passive voice construction. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered accurate. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
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