Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the economy of the US from [redacted phone] in 4 major sectors including Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. It defines the jobs alloted in millions in the 6 consecutive decades.

Overall, the healthcare sector showed a steady rise while the remaining had a rise and fall relation. The bar graph explictly explains how manufacturing sector had a brief rise in 1980 but then a steady fall by 2020. Both, retail and agriculture innitiated from 6 million jobs but the first one had an almost steady rise by 2020 and reached 16 million jobs but the later one had a decline to only 2 million jobs by 2020.

Agriculture sector remained the worst between the other sectors wiith a fall from 6 million to 2 million by 2020. But 2 sectors showed a steady rise from less then 8 million jobs in 1960 to achieving 16 million jobs by 2020. Retail and healthcare sectors demonstrated a remarkable journey of success. Meanwhile, Manufacturing sector illustrated a high rise to 20 million jobs by 1980 but then a steep decline to 12.5 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, the analysis is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating that retail and healthcare both reached 16 million jobs is a good summary, but the description of the manufacturing sector's peak and subsequent decline is slightly confusing due to the phrasing. The overview is present but could be more clearly integrated. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just listing trends sequentially.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is acceptable, though the logical flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. The use of cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile' and 'Overall' helps guide the reader, but some transitions feel forced. The referencing is generally clear, though the repetition of 'sector' and 'jobs' makes the text feel a bit disjointed at times. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several spelling errors, such as 'explictly', 'innitiated', and 'wiith', which detract from the professional tone. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying heavily on basic descriptors like 'rise' and 'fall'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied synonyms for trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surged', and ensure greater accuracy in spelling and word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'the later one' (should be 'the latter'), 'less then' (should be 'less than'), and 'alloted' (spelling). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and punctuation. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for common grammatical slips will help improve your accuracy.

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