Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, the highest number of jobs was in the manufacturing sector, while the lowest was in the healthcare sector. The number of jobs in the retail and agriculture sectors was similar at around 6 million. In 1980, an increase was noticed in the number of jobs in the manufacturing, retail and healthcare sectors and a decrease was seen in the count of jobs offered in the agriculture sector.
In 2000, the number of vacancies in the retail sector was inclined and reached at 15 million and after 2 decades a slight rise was seen in the retail sector. After 1980, in the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector followed a downward trend and accounted at approximately 13 million. The count of vacancies in the agriculture sector remained below 4 million between 1980 and 2020. After 1980, the number of jobs in the healthcare sector inclined drastically and reached at 16 million.
Overall, in the retail and healthcare sectors, the number of jobs followed an upward trend during the period, while in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors followed a downward trend after 1980.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. You successfully highlight the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report could be improved by providing more precise data points to support your comparisons. For instance, while you mention the retail sector reached 15 million, the specific starting points for 1960 are somewhat vague. Additionally, ensure that the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends rather than just repeating details. Overall, you have addressed the task requirements well by selecting and reporting the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, moving chronologically through the decades. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In 1960', 'In 1980', and 'Overall', to guide the reader. However, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more varied. For example, the transition between the 2000 data and the subsequent trends could be more fluid. Despite these minor issues, the paragraphing is appropriate and the information is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing sector', 'downward trend', and 'drastically'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that prevent a higher score. For example, 'the number of vacancies... was inclined' is not standard usage; 'increased' or 'rose' would be more natural. Similarly, 'accounted at' is incorrect; 'accounted for' or 'stood at' would be better. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, more precise and varied lexical items would enhance the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'reached at 15 million' (should be 'reached 15 million') and 'in the number of jobs... followed a downward trend' (the 'in' is redundant). Additionally, there are minor issues with preposition usage and verb patterns. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication or cause confusion for the reader. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of prepositions with verbs of change.
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