Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions in four ways such as, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare of the economy in the US during 1960 and 2020.
First of all, number of jobs in manufacturing increased from 15 millions to 20 millions with the passage of time from 1960 to 1980 while its number more rapidly decreased from 20 to 13 millions during the period of 1980 to 2020. The number of jobs in retail inclined upward from 6 millions to15 millions constantly then slightly increased from 15 to 16 millions in 2000 to 2020.
Secondly, the number of jobs in agriculture declined from 5 millions to 3 millions from 1960 to 1980 then its remained same from from 1980 to 2020. Furthermore, number of jobs in healthcare climbing up from 2 millions to 5 millions from 1960 to 1980 then its number increased more rapidly from 5 to 16 millions with the passage of time from 1980 to 2020.
Overall, the graph show that jobs decreased in manufacturing and healthcare and increased in others sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the specified years. However, the overview is inaccurate; you stated that jobs decreased in healthcare, whereas the graph shows a significant upward trend. Additionally, the summary of the overall trends is too brief and contains factual errors. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the main trends (e.g., the significant growth in healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing) rather than just listing details. The data reporting is generally clear, but the lack of an accurate summary limits the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use basic linking words like 'First of all', 'Secondly', and 'Overall' to structure the response. However, the cohesion is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Some transitions are missing or awkward, such as 'its remained same from from 1980 to 2020'. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the paragraphing could be more sophisticated to better group the trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'climbing up'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'inclined upward' and 'its number increased more rapidly'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or sophisticated phrasing. To improve, focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'a steady rise'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in manufacturing', 'in healthcare'), incorrect verb forms ('its remained same'), and punctuation issues. For example, 'from 1960 to 1980 while its number more rapidly decreased' is grammatically clunky. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as well as refining your sentence structure to reduce awkward phrasing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.