Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates changes in employment levels (measured in millions of jobs) across four key sectors of the US economy—Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare—over a 60-year period from 1960 to 2020.
overall trend: Employment in the retail and healthcare sectors experienced substantial, continuous growth. In contrast, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors saw an overall decline in job numbers over the six decades.
Shifts in Leadership: While manufacturing began as the dominant employer in 1960, healthcare and retail expanded significantly to become the leading job providers by the end of the period.
Healthcare: Starting as the smallest sector in 1960 with roughly 2 million jobs, healthcare witnessed a dramatic, steady surge. Job numbers climbed to 5 million in 1980, reached 11 million by 2000, and ultimately peaked near 14 million by 2020.
Retail: Retail employment began at approximately 6 million in 1960. The sector experienced consistent upward momentum, doubling to 12–15 million by 2000 before reaching around 16 million in 2020, making it one of the top employers.
Manufacturing: In 1960, manufacturing was the leading employer with 15 million jobs. Employment grew to a peak of 20 million in 1980. However, this was followed by a sharp and steady downturn, falling back to roughly 13–14 million jobs by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response effectively identifies and reports the main features of the graph. You have successfully highlighted the contrasting trends between the growing sectors (healthcare and retail) and the declining ones (manufacturing and agriculture). The inclusion of specific data points, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the final figures for 2020, demonstrates a clear understanding of the data. The overview is concise and provides a good summary of the overall trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that all sectors mentioned in the prompt are fully addressed; while you mention agriculture in the overview, it is not detailed in the body paragraphs, which is a minor omission.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and distinct body paragraphs for each sector. The use of headings is a bit unconventional for an IELTS task, but the progression of ideas remains clear. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'While', and 'However' effectively to link ideas and show relationships between the data. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information flows logically from the general trends to specific sector analysis. To improve, ensure that the transition between paragraphs is seamless and avoid using structural headings, as standard paragraphing is preferred in IELTS writing tasks.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for describing trends, such as 'substantial, continuous growth', 'upward momentum', and 'sharp and steady downturn'. The terminology used is precise and relevant to the context of economic sectors. There is a good level of flexibility in your word choice, which allows for a clear and professional tone. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items to describe the data, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'marginal decline', where applicable, to show even greater control over the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The writing displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and the punctuation is used correctly to support the clarity of your points. You demonstrate control over complex structures, such as the introductory subordinate clauses ('While manufacturing began as...'). There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication. To reach the highest band, ensure that you vary your sentence structures even further and maintain consistent accuracy across all types of complex constructions, as your current control is solid but could be slightly more ambitious in terms of syntactic variety.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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