Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph illustrates the data of number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between the year 1960 to 2020. The scale varies from zero to 25 in millions. The sectors which are getting compare are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare with varied shapes of line.

By taking an overview Manufacturing industry has highest number of job vacancy where as least is in farming sector where as retail market and healthcare come somewhere in middle of these both sectors.

By having a look then initially farming had more than 5 million worker in the year 1960 which gradually got decline till 2020 while production industries had a fluctuating line which got rise from 15 to 20 million by the year 1980 which is the leading amount of all, then got a rapid reduction leading to less than 14 million vacancies. whereabout healing sector and retail one got improved and eventually having more than 15 million jobs by the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the rise and fall of manufacturing and the decline of agriculture, the description of the retail and healthcare sectors is vague, lacking specific data points to support the claim of reaching 'more than 15 million'. To reach a higher band, ensure you include specific figures from the graph to support your observations and provide a more precise comparison between the sectors at the start and end points of the period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a report. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'By having a look then' and 'whereabout healing sector'. The progression of ideas is clear, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when referring to the sectors as 'these both sectors'. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'number of jobs' and 'sectors'. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'healing sector' instead of 'healthcare' and 'getting compare' instead of 'being compared'. While the meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a lack of sophisticated collocations or topic-specific terminology that would demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in farming sector'), incorrect verb forms ('got decline', 'got rise'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are run-on or lack proper structure, such as 'whereabout healing sector and retail one got improved'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage is essential.

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