Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the information about number of jobs availible in four sector ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing sector of the economy had the highest number of jobs; However, agriculture sector fell down over the period. Retail and healthcare sector rose steady over the period from 1960 to 2020 and meet at the same point.
In 1960, manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million jobs and increased to 20 million job by 1980 before steadily decreased to almost 13 million jobs in 2020. On the other hand, agriculture sector had almost 6 million jobs before fell down to almost 3 million jobs in 2020.
In 1960, retail and healthcare sector accounted for 6 million and 3 million jobs respectively. By 2020, number of jobs had increased to almost 16 million in both sectors (retail and agriculture) in the US
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the peak in manufacturing and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that retail and healthcare 'meet at the same point' is a vague description of the data. Furthermore, there is a significant factual error in the final sentence where you mention 'retail and agriculture' instead of 'retail and healthcare'. While the main features are selected, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the data points, and the conclusion contains a confusing contradiction regarding the sectors being discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'On the other hand', which help the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final sentence where the sector names are confused. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends such as 'increased', 'decreased', and 'rose steady'. However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation, such as 'availible' (spelling error), 'fell down' (informal phrasing), and 'rose steady' (should be 'steadily'). You rely on a somewhat limited range of vocabulary to describe the trends. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure that you are using the correct terminology for the sectors throughout the entire response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'manufacturing sector', 'agriculture sector') and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of jobs had increased'). Some sentences are missing necessary articles, which affects the overall fluency. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on article usage and ensuring consistent verb tenses when describing past data will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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