Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph tracks the numbers of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the United Sates in between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, in prior year the Manufacturing Sector and Retail Sector were on the top of the list and other two Agriculture Sector and Healthcare Sector was at the bottom. However, in recent years the top sectors faces downfall, while Agriculture and Healthcare Sectors have rising up.
First and foremost, Manufacturing Sector stood at 15 millions in jobs which was higher than Retail Sector at 5 millions in jobs approximately. While Manufacturing grow gradually to 20 millions in jobs, Retail followed rising to 10 millions in jobs. After Manufacturing reached peak of 20 jobs in million in year 1980, it subsequently declined in upcoming year.
In contrast, Healthcare Sector experienced a significant increased from 0 jobs in millions in 1960 to 5 millions in jobs by 1980 . Although Healthcare initially amplify from year 1980 to 2020, reaching beyond 15 jobs in millions by 2020.
By the end of the period, Healthcare Sector had become highest whereas, Agriculture Sector declining by o jobs in millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is hindered by significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, stating that the Agriculture sector declined to '0 jobs in millions' is factually incorrect based on the provided graph, and the description of the Healthcare sector's growth is confusingly phrased. While you attempt to identify trends, the lack of precision in describing the data points (e.g., '20 jobs in million') makes it difficult for the reader to follow the information accurately. To improve, ensure you carefully check the axes and labels before writing, and focus on reporting the most significant changes rather than listing every minor fluctuation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'First and foremost' and 'In contrast' are used, but the logical progression between sentences is frequently interrupted by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. For example, the transition between the description of the Manufacturing sector and the Healthcare sector lacks a smooth connection. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that flows logically into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'jobs', 'rising', and 'declining'. There are also several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'faces downfall' instead of 'experienced a decline' and 'amplify' used incorrectly to describe a trend. The phrasing '20 jobs in million' is also non-standard and confusing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and pay closer attention to how words are combined in English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'other two... was at the bottom') and incorrect article usage. Sentence structures are often simplistic, and there are errors in word order, such as '15 millions in jobs'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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