Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph ilustrates the data about jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States in sixty year period between 1960 and 2000.

Overall, jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased significantly, while agriculture remained low in producing jobs in this period.

In 1960, manufacturing sector had most number of jobs i.e 15 million, the number hit the peak at 20 million in 1980 then starting decline and reached around 13 million in 2020.

Retail and healthcare sector experienced similar growth, started with 6 million and 0.3 million jobs in 1960. After that, both sectors rose dramatically over the years and reached the 15 million and little over 10 million mark in 2000 respectively. Retail sector remained stable till 2020 with approximatley 16 million jobs, meanwhile healthcare steadily rose to same number of jobs in 2020.

Agriculture sector failed to produce more jobs as initially had nearly 6 million in 1960 then the number gradually starting to fall and ended in 2020 with just 0.2 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends for the four sectors. You successfully highlighted the peak in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated the period was 1960–2000, but the graph covers up to 2020. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, ensure your overview captures the most significant trends across the entire timeframe provided in the prompt and double-check your data points for precision.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The use of paragraphing is appropriate. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'After that', 'In 1960'). There are also some minor issues with referencing, such as 'the number' which could be more clearly linked to the specific sector being discussed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significantly', 'dramatically', and 'steadily'. However, there are some spelling errors ('ilustrates', 'approximatley') and minor collocation issues, such as 'failed to produce more jobs' or 'remained low in producing jobs'. While these do not impede communication, they limit the score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations related to trends and data reporting, and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the agriculture sector') and tense inconsistencies ('starting decline' instead of 'started to decline'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the data. To achieve a higher band, focus on consistent verb tense usage when describing past trends and ensure articles are used correctly with nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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