Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The jobs in four sectors are manufacturing, retailers, agriculture, and healthcare.
Overall the manufacturing had the highest jobs from 1960 to 1980. In 1960 there were 15 million jobs, which rose to 20 million jobs in 1980, then down from 1980 to 2020, therefor the retail had almost 7 million jobs in 1960, gradually increased and rose to 10 million in 1980, and almost increased to 16 million jobs in 2020.
Agriculture had almost 7 million jobs in 1960, which gradually decreased to almost 4 million jobs in 1980, and then stabilized toward 2000, and slowly decreased toward 2020.
Healthcare had 3 million jobs in 1960, which gradually increased day by day and rose to 5 million jobs in 1980, and in 2000 the jobs of healthcare are almost 11 million and in 2020 the jobs rose almost to 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided relevant data points for all four sectors. You included a clear overview, which is essential for a high score. However, the response lacks a comparative analysis; you have listed the data for each sector separately rather than highlighting how the sectors compare to one another over the period. To improve, try to group the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that declined) and use comparative language to show the relationship between the figures, rather than just reporting them chronologically.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition between the manufacturing and retail sections is abrupt, using 'therefor' incorrectly as a connector. The use of referencing is also repetitive, with almost every sentence starting with the name of the sector followed by 'had' or 'there were'. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and pronouns to connect your ideas more fluidly and avoid repetitive sentence structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'had', 'increased', and 'decreased'. While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. To improve, incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, avoid phrases like 'day by day' when describing long-term trends, as this is not appropriate for formal academic writing. Focus on using more varied and sophisticated collocations to describe the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect the flow. For instance, 'therefor the retail had' is grammatically incorrect, and 'the jobs of healthcare are almost 11 million' uses an inconsistent tense when describing past data. Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, such as the second paragraph. To improve, ensure that your verb tenses are consistent when discussing historical data and work on using more complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to combine related ideas more effectively.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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