Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph provides the information regarding the number of of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the highest figure notes in retail and healthcare while, the lowest figure has showed in manufacturing while time the time period in us.

Looking at at frist haf graph the highest figure it healthcare and retail while in another sector agriculture firstly increase after that show the decrease trend .

Turning to next category , retail show the highest ratio in 1960 to 2020 remain stable .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 93 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the student attempts to identify some trends, the analysis is superficial and lacks the necessary detail to fully report the main features of the graph. Comparisons between the four sectors are largely absent or unclear. The overview provided is vague and does not effectively summarise the key trends across the 60-year period. To improve, the student must provide a more comprehensive analysis of the data, ensuring all sectors are described with specific figures and clear comparative language.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the progression of ideas is disjointed and difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as 'while time the time period in us' and 'Looking at at frist haf graph'. These errors make the text feel fragmented. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to identify which sector is being discussed. To improve, the student should focus on using clear transition signals to link sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'highest figure' and 'lowest figure'. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'frist haf' (first half) and 'decrease trend'. The lack of variety in descriptive language prevents the student from accurately conveying the trends shown in the graph. To reach a higher band, the student needs to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained constant', or 'experienced a significant decline', and ensure accurate spelling and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect sentence construction, such as 'the lowest figure has showed in manufacturing'. The range of structures is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures. To improve, the student must focus on basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and the appropriate use of articles and prepositions. Consistent practice with sentence building will help reduce the frequency of these errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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