Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In 1960 to 2020 the jobs in USA in different sector . The Jobs in healthcare in USA are increase . It show that the large number of people are hire in healthcare in different center .Because health is the basic need of our life . In healthcare in 1960 people are 1 to 2 million . But time was passed people are also are increase .In 1980 the people was 10 million . As time passes the number of people are to 15 million in 2020 .In 1960 the jobs in agriculture are rise to decreases . In 1960 the jobs are less then the people so as time was passed the jobs are lessen in number . In 2020 the jobs are less then the people. In 1960 the jobs in

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly limits the development of the task. You have attempted to describe trends for two sectors (healthcare and agriculture), but you have omitted the other two sectors entirely, failing to provide a comprehensive overview of the graph. The information provided is fragmented and lacks a clear summary of the main features or significant comparisons. To improve, you must ensure you address all parts of the prompt, provide a clear overview of the data, and support your descriptions with accurate figures from the graph while meeting the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical organization and progression. There is no clear paragraph structure, and the sentences are disjointed, making it difficult to follow the information. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'In 1960' and 'As time passes' without effective transitions between ideas. The text feels like a series of isolated observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, you should group related information into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, which restricts your ability to convey information precisely. You frequently use basic verbs like 'increase' and 'are' rather than more descriptive alternatives suitable for academic writing. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs are lessen in number' and 'people are hire'. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'surge', and 'remain stable', and practice using these in the correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in healthcare... are increase'), tense usage (e.g., 'time was passed'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are incomplete or lack proper punctuation, making the text difficult to read. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex phrasing are unsuccessful. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb, and practice using present perfect and past simple tenses accurately.

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