Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates employment rate in four sectors in the United State economy from 1960 to 2020, Jobs are measured in millions.
Overall, the manufacturing sector showed downward trend despite having the highest figure. In contrast, the healthcare sector represent dramatic growth and eventually surpass the the manufacturing figure. The agriculture remain maintained the lowest economy rate.
The manufacturing sector started from 15 million employment in 1960 that showed slight increase with 20 million for next year before declined significantly ended at approximately 13 million in the end of period. Instead the healthcare department begin with just around 1 million jobs and showed dramatic growth surpass the manufacturing reading and ended at 16 million in 2020.
Furthermore, the retail sector expressed upward trend. In 1960, 5 million jobs that showed considerable growth every year and ended at 16 million in 2020. While, the agriculture remained the lowest economy reason dropped from 6 million to just 1 million employment rate.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating the manufacturing sector 'showed slight increase with 20 million for next year' is not clearly supported by the graph, and the description of the agriculture sector as an 'economy reason' is unclear. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation and some awkward phrasing regarding the trends prevent this from reaching a higher band. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', and 'While' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, 'Instead the healthcare department begin' is a clumsy way to introduce a contrast. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Overall, the structure is functional, but the use of cohesive devices is not always natural or precise.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'downward trend', 'dramatic growth', and 'surpass' used appropriately. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'lowest economy rate' and 'lowest economy reason'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly opaque. The student attempts to use a variety of descriptive language, but the lack of precision in word choice limits the score. To improve, the student should focus on using more accurate terminology related to economic data and trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('healthcare sector represent', 'agriculture remain maintained'), tense inconsistencies ('begin' instead of 'began'), and missing articles ('in the United State economy'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and misused commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures, keeping the score in the 5.5 to 6.0 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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