Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate that which the economy of the US during the period in 1960 to 2020 it gives information about the number of occouption in four sectors of the economy.
The graph shows that the manufacturing the starting point 15% in 1960 and after twenty year the ratio of manufacturing increased 5% during this time and after 1980 the manufacturing was decreased every year and reached about 13% in 2020. The retail jobs in 1960 the beginning point is 6% and in every year they were slightly increased in every year and the last year 2020 the retail was reached 16% in addition to, the healthcare highly increased in every year but after 2000 slightly increased and reached about 16% in 2020. The agriculture job decreased every year the starting point in 1960 is about 16% in the starting years and was decreased in every years.
The conclusion in the report writing during the time in 1960 to 2020 two jobs retail and healthcare rised and manufacturing, agriculture was down in every year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing their trends over the 60-year period. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, and the data reporting is often imprecise. For instance, stating that manufacturing 'increased 5% during this time' is vague and lacks the necessary precision required for an Academic Task 1 response. Furthermore, the description of the agriculture sector is incomplete, as it fails to provide specific data points to support the trend description. To improve, you should focus on selecting key data points (start, end, and significant turning points) and presenting them with greater accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a standard structure. However, the logical flow between sentences is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes awkward, such as the phrase 'in addition to, the healthcare'. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the conclusion is essentially a repetition of the body content rather than a synthesis of the main features. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the phrase 'in every year' and 'the starting point', which restricts the sophistication of your writing. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'occouption' (spelling error) and 'rised' (incorrect verb form). While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. You should aim to incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'remained stable', to better describe the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('The line graph illustrate'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which makes the text difficult to read at times. For example, 'The line graph illustrate that which the economy of the US...' is syntactically incorrect. While you attempt to use some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect pluralisation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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