Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph describes the detail about the number of jobs in four parts of economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

The manufacture was the largest sector in US .

The employing people were about 15 millions in 1960.The peaked of this sector was at 20 millions in 1980.The Manufacturing sector was in 1960 to 1980 but it was declined at the 2000 to 2020 .So , employing was about 13 millions.

Therefore, the retail was the second sector in US . The employing of this sector was 5 millions. So, the peaked of this sector was at 2020 .The retail sector was increased year by year .However, this sector was decreased at the start of the 1960 but it was increased year by year.So, the employing 15 million people in 2020

In addition,the Healthcare sectors were good at the start of 1960 but it were declined year by year. The employing 5 million people in 1960 but after some years ago it were drop to 2 million people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear overview or identify the most significant trends. While it mentions four sectors, the data interpretation is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that the healthcare sector declined from 1960. The response lacks a clear summary of the main features, and the data points provided are frequently inconsistent with the visual information. To improve, you must focus on identifying the overall trends (e.g., which sectors grew and which declined) rather than listing individual data points in a disjointed manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'So' and 'The employing'. Transitions between sentences are abrupt, making it difficult to follow the development of the argument. The referencing is also unclear, as it is often difficult to determine which sector is being discussed due to poor sentence structure. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' would help create a more coherent flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'employing' and 'sector'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'The employing of this sector was 5 millions' instead of 'employment in this sector reached 5 million'. The misuse of 'peaked' as a noun ('the peaked of this sector') further limits the clarity of the report. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('it were declined', 'the Healthcare sectors were good'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack the necessary complexity to demonstrate a range of structures. The misuse of tenses is also prevalent, particularly when describing past trends. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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