Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Given diagram displays the data about the number of positions in four different domains that are in the economy of United States of America from 1960 until 2020.
The graph displays that in 1960 the jobs in Manufacturing department had highest numbers which increased significantly upto the period of 1980 but then starting to go down from there on and ended up at the spot below from where it start in 1960, Where as Healthcare and Retail sectors have seen boom in the number of jobs that they ended up with higher numbers then other two departments, After this we can see that less people are interested in moving to pursue career in agriculture department because of the decline the number of jobs in this area. I believe that the reason for for all this change is because the technical advancements specially because of the development in the field of Artifical Intelligence and Automation.
Overall we can see that with the passage of time and changes in the technical domain has made some areas less important and others more in terms of human intervention.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
You have identified the main trends for the four sectors, but the response lacks sufficient data support. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector increased and then declined, but you do not provide any specific figures from the graph to illustrate these changes. Furthermore, you include personal opinion regarding the reasons for these trends (e.g., 'I believe that the reason...'), which is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. An IELTS report should remain objective and focus solely on the data provided. To improve, ensure you include specific data points and avoid external speculation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often missing or mechanical, such as 'After this we can see that'. The final paragraph is very brief and does not effectively summarise the main features of the graph. To reach a higher band, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear, distinct purpose.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. You use repetitive phrasing like 'number of jobs' and 'departments' rather than using synonyms like 'employment figures', 'sectors', or 'industries'. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'at the spot below from where it start', which is not natural English. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to describing trends, such as 'witnessed a sharp decline' or 'remained relatively stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Examples include 'Manufacturing department had highest numbers' (missing articles), 'then starting to go down' (incorrect verb tense), and 'higher numbers then' (confusing 'then' with 'than'). Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors like article usage and verb tense consistency, and practice constructing more complex sentences with accurate punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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