Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart tackles the economic figures of occupation in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs in retail and healthcare increased substantially, while other figures fall dramatically over the period.

Healthcare and retail followed similar trend in which healthcare initiate from just below 5 millions jobs whereas, retail commence with slightly more than 5 millions in terms of jobs. In 1980, they both experience surge where retail reached 10 million and healthcare accounted up 5 million of jobs. A sudden significant rose observe in healthcare in 2000, meanwhile retail jobs figures soared gradually. Through the end of the period both of these figures were climbed up just over 15 millions.

The number of jobs in manufacturing topped the list in the beginning , representing 15 millions of job which then before declining experienced an incline of 20 millions. Thereafter, it fall from just over 15 millions in 2000 and ranges between 10 and 15 millions until 2020. Agriculture economy had least jobs which stood at just over 5 millions in 1960 and fall below 5 million in 1980 which plateau till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating that manufacturing 'topped the list' at 15 million and then 'experienced an incline of 20 millions' is confusing and does not align clearly with the visual data provided. Furthermore, the description of the trends lacks precision in some areas, such as the vague mention of 'a sudden significant rose' in 2000. To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly structured to highlight the key differences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'Thereafter', which help guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'Healthcare and retail followed similar trend in which healthcare initiate from just below 5 millions jobs whereas, retail commence with slightly more than 5 millions' is clunky. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more professional and academic tone.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and collocations. For example, the student uses 'rose' as a noun ('a sudden significant rose') instead of 'rise', and 'initiate' instead of 'started' or 'began'. There is also a tendency to use 'millions' incorrectly as a plural noun when preceded by a specific number (e.g., '15 millions'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main message, the errors in word choice and form prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate word forms and standard academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('retail commence', 'it fall'), incorrect verb tenses ('both of these figures were climbed up'), and missing articles. The sentence structure is often repetitive, and the misuse of verb forms (e.g., 'healthcare initiate' instead of 'healthcare initiated') suggests a lack of control over basic grammatical rules. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors is noticeable and requires attention to achieve a higher level of accuracy.

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