Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the amount of work in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the highest upward amount in healthcare. While, the downward was in agriculture.
It is patently observed that, in 1980 approximately 2 million of jobs were in healthcare.while , it slightly increased to 5 million in 1980. Than, it sharply rosed aournd 16 millions. However, the proportion of jobs were almost 6 millions in agriculture.whereas, it was aournd 3 Millions in 1980 . After that , it was stable between 1980 and 2020.
Referring to other details , approximately 6 millions jobs avelable was in retail in 1960 . while, it sharply inclined to 15 millions in 2000. Than, it slowly rosed by 1% in 2020. However, in 1960 aournd 15 millions jobs were in manufacturing. After that, it slightly increased to 29 millions in 1980. but , it sharply decreased to almost 13 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the data reporting is frequently inaccurate. For instance, you mention 2 million jobs in healthcare in 1980, but the graph shows a different figure. Furthermore, the chronological progression is confusing; you jump between years (1980, 1960, 2000, 2020) without a clear structure. While you cover all four sectors, the lack of precision in data interpretation and the failure to provide a clear, accurate overview of the trends across the entire period prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully check the data points against the axes and group your information logically, perhaps by comparing sectors that show similar trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression within them is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or incorrect, such as starting sentences with 'Than' (instead of 'Then') or 'While,' (with incorrect punctuation). The transition between ideas is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of the trends. Referencing is also unclear at times, particularly when jumping between different years and sectors. To improve, focus on using transition words like 'meanwhile,' 'subsequently,' or 'in contrast' more accurately and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus rather than listing data points randomly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' and struggle with word choice, such as 'amount of work' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'upward amount' instead of 'upward trend'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'rosed' (instead of 'rose'), 'aournd' (instead of 'around'), and 'avelable' (instead of 'available'). These errors occasionally impede the flow of the text. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms for change, such as 'fluctuated,' 'surged,' or 'plummeted,' and pay closer attention to spelling and standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments like 'While, the downward was in agriculture.' Punctuation is also problematic, with commas often placed incorrectly or missing. Verb tense usage is inconsistent, and there is a lack of complex sentence structures. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in basic grammar, such as '16 millions' (should be '16 million'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the correct use of articles and pluralization. Reducing the number of errors in simple sentences should be your primary goal before attempting more complex structures.
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